Heya! All those that may have sent me letters - our dot.com engine is being a major pain in the ass, and I never got any of them. Believe me, I want to answer your questions, so if you sent me a letter, you can send it again to the address below. (Stupid technology!! I spit at thee!) Well - now that that's out of the way...
Hey! Welcome to Jubilee Shows You HOW! What am I going to show you this week? YELLOW!!! I'm going to show you what a righteously COOL color Yellow is. Let's look at the color a moment, bathe in it, shall we? Ready?
Ooooooh! Loookeee that!! That's your standard yellow, right there. Bright. Cheery. *LOVE* that colour. Now, of course, there are many yellows. Many many many yellows. Each yellow says a different thing. That yellow up there - see it? That says - I'm gonna kick your ass you mother-f*cker if you go anywhere NEAR my friends, mutie-hatin' freakazoid! Yes indeedy. That's sentinel-ass-kicking teeth-powderizin' get OUTTA MY FACE yellow. It's my favourite colour. Lets look at a few more delicate shades of this amazing color, now shall we?
This is your standard, muted, Indian Yellow. This makes a beautiful gown, or a nice singlet, something you want to wear when watching tv or sitting in bed or something. Sequens love this color, and tie-dye indian dresses look excellent with this color blended with other colors. Of course my opinion is - why taint perfection? This yellow is when you're expressing your more down to earth and open self. This yellow is not to be worn in confrontational situations. They won't care a mite when you're fighting in that yellow - it's like going to bash heads in pink. No way dude.
Personally, I despise this shade of yellow. What's this - Jubilee? Disliking yellow? How can it be so?! Well first off - it's pastel. The less said about that, the better. It's scared to be yellow. A good yellow IS yellow. This yellow - it's pansy yellow. It's "Ooh, am I yellow, or am I white?" It's DIET yellow. Ick. Please. I've wasted enough bandwidth on this shade thank YOU very much.
This is a great one. It's warm, and yet not too overwhelming. It makes excellent manila folders (jokes man!), it's a great colour for a suit, and for hair bands, earrings and shoes. It suits a lot of different yellows, and - well - I just like it. You figure it out.
This is the 'Once More Unto the Breech - dear' Yellow. I know, you're sayin' - "Jubilee - did you get into your Daddy's crack again? Cause honey that ain't yellow!" Well this missy took art class and I can tell you without a shadow of a DOUBT - that this colour is indeed yellow. It's yellow mixed with black. It's what they call a 'shade' of yellow. And this mucky green yellow is worn by our army men all the damned time. It's war yellow. It's a step beyond "I'm gonna punch your damned teeth out". It's "Watch out, I got a frickin' grenade launcher strapped to my mother f*ckin' back and I know how to USE IT" yellow. I kinda like it! I don't wear it too often (for obvious reasons) but boy, has it come in handy!
Great Yellow Top Ten!
That's right, it's the YELLOW TOP TEN people!
Top Ten Yellow Objects That Have Improved My Life!
By Jubilation Lee.
10. Remy Le Beau
Okay, so he ain't yellow, and when he's fighting he's pretty brave. But honey - he's the biggest coward I've ever met when it comes to real relationships. He's fun and sweet though, and life without him would probably suck ass.
9. The Sun
It's big, it's hot, and it makes all life on earth possible. Yay for the sun!
8. A Portion of my Plasma
Okay - get your damned head out of the gutter. When I let my powers fly, some of them pretty sparklies are the loveliest shade of yellow you've ever seen. And they've saved my life!
7. My first packet of condoms
They were a birthday present from Betsy . They're banana flavoured, apparently. Well - how have they improved my life? Well... you know!
6. Washing Up Gloves
I watch Rocky Horror in these gloves. I do the dishes in these gloves. These gloves save these hands from certain cracking and dehydration. Such a noble purpose they serve.
5. Fake Plastic Tennis Raquet
You know, those things you got the tennis ball on a rope thing with? I still have mine, and it's absolutely perfect to hit Remy with.
4. My Rubber Ducky
What life is complete without a yellow rubber ducky? They're cute, they squeek, and Ernie has one. Enough said.
It goes on apple pie, it's sweet and cooling, and it's a classic desert.
2. My Big Bird School-Bag
Yeah, I have a Big Bird school bag from my primary school days. Dude, I was the coolest chick out with that bag!
1. My Jacket
My jacket keeps me warm, I look great in it, and you
can spot me instantly in a crowd. I love my jacket!
And you know what? Again, we're out of time. Sucks huh? Well - write in to me, and next time I'll be around for longer, answering YOUR letters about things!
Till next time!
Vigilante, fashion guru,
Savior to fuzzy white seal pups.
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