Hey! How's it hangin'? Left or right? Jokes jokes... Well it's me - Jubilation Lee (as if you couldn't tell). I'm Rogue's buddy. That's it - the chick in yellow in the movie (Damn it, she got all the Logan action!! Aah well...). Welcome to my self-styled Do-It-Yourself/Advice section that Nancy was kind enough to let me host. Now, everyone has been asking me - Jubes! Jube! Babe! Beautiful!
How exactly do you make a Substitute Logan?
Don't despair, my delicious dudes - it ain't hard. It's painfully simple, yet incredibly perfect - because I thought it up. Without further ado - how to make your very OWN - Substitute Logan.
You will need:
1 fleshy coloured pillowcase
1 indellible black marker (thick)
Big flat board.
Prepatory steps: Okay dudes. Place a folded sheet of newspaper INSIDE the pillowcase you've chosen for you Subby Logan. Now, make sure the colour is that scary questionable colour of pink that reminds you of all sorts of naughty things. The more lewd, the better. If you don't have this colour, it's okay - but that shade is preferable. Tape it down flat onto a board, nice and taught like a canvas. You don't want the fabric bunching up under your marker.
1. Draw the eyebrows. Nice and angry and sharp. 2. Now the eyes, a little up from the bottom of the dip. The spots of the yees go about halfway on these new marks. 3. Now the nose... 4. Mouth... Make sure it's a little to the side, so it looks like that gritting teeth thing he does... 5. Now with the hair - don't forget the points! Make sure the sideburn meets the corner of his mouth. The other sideburn should meet in the same place if the mouth were reversed. 6. Dude, like, this is the funnest part! A little 'u' shape under the mouth, and two pec-shapes! Mmm-mmm! 7. Nipple time! Do nice circles - don't do them in the exact middle, make them lower, and to the sides. Then two upside down bird-shapes under that for the 6-pack. Put a dit in his chin.
And there you have it. A darling piece of habadashery that not only keeps you company on lonely nights, that not ONLY looks like the hottest X-Man around, but also serves as an interesting conversational piece, and a charming centrepoint for any bedspread.
If you manage to make a great Substitute Logan, why not send me a photo of you and your darling piece of craftmanship? Just send it to the email below, I'd love to see your proudly grinning mug! Those that make the effort will appear in our "Pillow Hall of Fame". Don't be shy now, Rogue isn't (and believe me, the vision of her hugging that stupid damned pillow is humiliating enough - er - I mean cute. Yes. *he-he*).
Well, that's it for now, but don't you be scarce! Next lesson will be "Yellow - A Statement". I'll be teaching you exactly WHY the colour yellow is the best there is.
Till next time! Ciao!
Vigilante, fashion guru,
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