Special Section!
Dear Jubes:
The US bombed Iraq last week. Some of our bombs
"missed." What's your opinion on this? And, do you
think Bush is an idiot? 'Cause whoever voted for the
man is probably kicking themselves right now.--A concerned American
Hey there, Concerned!American. The US is always bombing Iraq. I seriously think that it's like - some form of hobby out there for bored GIs or something. Onto Bush.... Well, long story short, yeah, he’s an idiot. I mean, geez, people, Iraq aside, have you SEEN the expressions that cross that man’s face? Only person I ever seen look so clueless was Mr. Summers when I asked him why tater tots are the shape they are.
Now. Let me elaborate on this. I have a theory, so here goes. Dubya needs a pet monkey. No, really! No joke. And before you go screeching about cruelty to animals, let me remind you. That monkey would have a damn good time laughing at the Prez. It’d be like, zoological social service work. I mean, monkeys need to have fun, too, right? So anyhow, Dubya needs a monkey. One reason for this is that the monkey could train him to make slightly more intelligent facial expressions. But mainly, and I really really mean this, people, as a helpful hint to our man in the big white house, is that he could blame his stupid shit on the monkey.
It would work, I’m sure! Let’s face it, monkeys don’t get the credit they’re due. And there’re gonna be a hell of a lot more dumb decisions coming from Dubya. Georgie-Boy needs a scapegoat. Scapemonkey, whatever.
So. There’s your answer. He’s an idiot.
Dear Jubes:Okay, I sort of have a problem. I really, really dig this guy who works with me at the lab. I mean, he's great and wonderful and just…wow. He's beyond cool. Anyway…
The problem is this - I'm pretty sure he sees me as just a friend, a buddy…one of the guys. Is there any way I can find out for sure without totally humiliating myself and ruining the friendship we do have? I have to know, but… It's scary, y'know?
Can you give me any hints? Thanks!
Camille in Portland
Yo! Camille-Peel! Wow - he works with ya huh? Work relationships can be kinda tricky - believe me, I know. I have enough run-ins with Remy LeBeau to know that romance in a work environment can be incredibly complicated. Good news is, it doesn't have to be.
Can you find out how he sees you without humiliating yourself? Er... I'm not sure. Can you do it without ruining the friendship? Sure thing. Thing is - you have to be honest and laid back about everything. The second you start gettin' hot and heavy, things'll get all stressful and embarrassing.
Why not test the waters some? If any of you go out together to bars or pubs or whatever, why not dress yourself up a bit? Flirt a little? It doesn't hurt to bat those eyes and purse those ruby-red lips!
Of course, being one of the guys - I totally understand that schtick. Dude - I am like, the *queen* of being one of the guys. Despite my sharp and astounding fashion sense, despite my killer shopping skills and despite my multi-hundred dollar make-up collection, for some reason I still get treated like one of the guys. You know - I'm loud, I'm confident, I don't take no sass. I know sure as shit that I'm never changing that about myself. And I'm not going to change that for the good of some guy I'm moony over. You shouldn't either, sister. Whatever it is that makes you one of the boys, don't change it! But don't be afraid to reveal your feminine wiles either!
With ya all the way, girlfriend!
Hey Jubes,I was wondering something. I like clothes a lot. I
mean a LOT. But I can never seem to break the "jeans
and a nice shirt" pattern, no matter where I go!I just KNOW I could wear some really cute things, but
I have no idea what to wear, where, and when. Can you help?Thanks,
~Ally
Ally! Babe! Chicky-BABE! Can Jubilee help you with fashion? Do FISH FLY? Do BIRDS mimic? Do giraffes have the funkiest look going in the animal kingdom? Is the catholic church full of Major Bufu's? (no offense to catholics, only the freaky bufu types). Seriously girl - I can help you.
Jeans and a nice shirt - classic, attractive - SAFE. Honey - there are a thousand million things to do without the jeans, girl. Here are a few tips to BREAK the mold!
Long Skirts: Never look past a long skirt to give you that 'Just stepped out of woodstock' look about ya! For some reason, guys really like long skirts, and they make your ankles look delicious! You can wear ALL kinds of footwear with long skirts. The chunkier, the better. Long skirts are great for daytime outings, and any casual/semi-casual occasion.
Short Skirts: Dude. There is no other piece of clothing that has more punch to the inch than a short skirt! They come in all lengths, and dude - for all leg shapes. The short skirt was made for the club, so don't be afraid to don a glittery short skirt and hit the dance clubs. With short skirts, you can go all the way with knee-high boots and really go for the go-go girl look!
Shorts: Shorts are great. I'm a huge fan of shorts. There's nothing like the security of shorts, with the length of a short skirt. They're boyish, yet they show off the woman's leg excellently! You can wear them with any kind of shoe, and they're great!
Leggings: Leggings are fabulous. They can go under skirts, jackets, anything. Get every kind, every colour. Liven up your wardrobe, and don't be afraid to mix and match! Wearing a pair of these with huge fluffy socks and a big baggy jumper is so yummy in the winter-time in front of the tv!
Slacks/Pants: They're the alternative to jeans, they're sophistocated, they're classy. Never be afraid of them. They're the coolest, they're really comfy too.
Dresses: Long or small, long-sleeved or short-sleeved - do not dismiss the dress. There's a dress for every occasion, and with a cute jacket and the right accessories, you can wear a dress anywhere, any time!
Layering: Never *ever* be afraid to layer. Layer two singlets on top of each other. Or a singlet over a thin long-sleeved tight shirt. A-line short skirt over flares. Try it out, see what you can come up with!
Jewellry: A little or a lot can make a huge difference. Try on different combinations, and see how they can affect an outfit.
Hopefully my tips have helped you out, Ally, please remember that experimentation is the key to fashion discovery! I wish you some happy shopping!!
Jubes,(I hope that I can call you that!) I have a question about making my very
own substitute Logan. Which color of pillowcase should I go for? I've
noticed that in your demonstration, you've used a slightly pinky color,
which at first I thought was too girly to use for a substitute Logan, but
then I realized that it's *Marie's* substitute Logan, so it was all good. I
was just wondering what your opinion on that matter would be. I'm thinking
about making my very own substitute Logan with a yellow p-case to go with
the comforter on my bed which happens to be pale yellow. (I *knew* I'd find
a way to ingratiate myself with you!)And as for your latest "Jubes shows you how!", I loved it! I'm actually a
big fan of the color yellow, mostly in its paler variations. I never knew
that there were so many shades of yellow! It was very educational. :) Did
you know that there used to be a yellow crayola crayon that was called mac
n' cheese? It rocked!Thanks for taking the time to read this and for introducing me to all the
lovely shades of yellow. I'd be grateful for any advice that you could
offer on the substitute Logan question.~Elizabeth
Hey Elizabeth! Hmmm - well, it's up to you really, what colour you make your
Subby-Logan! See, I chose that lovely fleshy-colored pink, because then it's like
Logan's skin, ya know? Then if it's a bit of a blushed skin color it can easily remind
you of... um... Hey Rogue...Anyways! Nice to see that pale yellow is a feature of your bedroom! I always go for
a bolder statement and decorate with traffic-stopping yellow, unfortunately I've been
told to change things back by my anal retentive roommates... *ducks*Mac n' cheese huh? I bet that was the one the kids ate most! Hoo-haa, I'm hot today.
I'm afraid that being in orphanages and foster homes I missed that particular crayola
experience, but thank you for sharing! If anyone can send me this famous mac n'
cheese crayon, to make up for my crappy childhood - I'd be forever grateful.Dude, reading your letters is why I'm here! Er, and that whole saving the world schtick,
but I also like answering letters. Yeah! And if I gotta mission you all one at a time
to spread the glory that is the color yellow - so be it amiga!And as I said - fleshy color. Bit red. Logan's wing-wang. OW! Rogue that *hurt*!!
Jube! Babe! How exactly should I get those GREAT streaks in my hair,
without going through Magneto?Thanks forever!
AnnieDude! That's a tough one. The popular opinion seems to be chunking kits, as in, grabbing some peroxiding kits and going hell for leather. Now, you have to go for the ash blonde, and take it in stages cause peroxiding your hair that much is going to do it some damage. Think *really* hard before you do this, now, cause it's going to take some time for your hair to return to normal afterwards. If you don't like it, you're going to have to wait a while and let the hair recover from the peroxiding process before dying it again, and then you gotta do that in stages too.
If you're for it - then I say either go to a hairdressers, or read up about home peroxiding on the net. I'm sure there are some goths out there that are authorities on the subject. Me, I just do shade changing and makeovers. I hope that helps!
Hey Jubes,
How're ya doin', girl? Well, what I was wonderin' is what do ya think of the
rest o' the X-Men: Cyclops (yum), Jean Grey, Storm, etc. Not to mention your
fellow classmates: Popsicle (Bobby), The other Human Torch
(Johnny...mmmm...), that artistic Ruskie (Piotr), Kitty, Rogue (I can't think
of nicknames...), and a few of the others. Basically your take on life at the
Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. I'm askin' because I think I might want
to go there. My mutant powers are getting a bit to much for me to really hide
anymore. Ah well, talk to ya later, Jubicetta.Regards,
Aurora LaneWow, can we do with a second Ro around here? Sure - it'll be like full human-sized book ends! Hey Aurora!
Okay, what I think of the rest of the X-Men? Well I love 'em of course! They're my family! I adore the crap out of them. Annoy the crap out of them too I'm sure but hey - that comes with communal living. Mr. Summers? Wow, gee! I don't know if yum is the word I'd use to describe him. I mean, I guess he's okay looking and all, but I really don't want to think about him that way, cause that goes to freaky territory. Jean is cool, she like, has the best advice and stuff, but her Scott Baio infatuation is a little more than disturbing. Storm is also really cool - I mean she's like a Goddess! How can she not be? She kinda helps us kids out by tempering Scott's rule-making a little. Not that Scott is that anal or anything, but he just worries about us kids a lot. Storm is more laid back about it, I dunno, maybe it's cause she lived in Africa for all that time and it's dangerous there or something, compared to Westchester that is.Bobby is a walking subzero doofus if I ever met one. Seriously, once he like, glued the blackboard eraser to Mr. Summer's table, dude you should have seen that man's sunnies flash!! Bobby just about crapped his pants - it was awesome!
Johnny is definitely a hottie. I tell him that all the time - he doesn't seem to believe me man! He just gets all red and hides his face! Even though he's been away from Australia a long time, he still gets the accent sometimes - it's sooo dreamy! And then like, sometimes he calls cookies 'biscuits'! It's so cute!
Kitty is my best girl in the whole world. She's mah sistah, my compadre! A lot of people think because she's soft-spoken and wears pastel, that she's like a goody-two-shoes. She's so not. She swears you know, I mean it. And she and I get up to all sorts of mischief. It's good since Rogue came along, cause now we're like a proper set. Like Charlie's Angels. Hey... DUDE! Charles Xavier - Charlie - it all makes sense! Oh... oh yeah...
Rogue is our new best girl, but she's still our best girl. Despite that agonizingly huge temper she has hidden under the quiet Southern Belle veneer, she's so much fun. She's a real darling, and me and Kitty are trying to teach her to have a little more fun, you know, to relax and enjoy life at the mansion. It's been hard since Logan's been away, but as long as he moves his ass and returns here, it shouldn't affect her permanently.
On Logan - big hairy man I barely met that should come back and make Rogue happy. That pretty much sums him up.
Piotr? He's a sweety. A big, metallic sweety. I got one of his drawings in my room, one he did of me and Kitty together. I'm trying to get him to do one of me, Kitty, and Rogue - he's obliging of course. Cause he's a sweety - like I told you! Kitty loves watching him draw. A lot.
Life here at the school is like one big fun sleepover party. It is, it's really cool. But sometimes you get reminded that it's not all fun and games, like when all that stuff with Magneto happened. That was pretty scary. You get over that though, well you try to anyways, and since a relatively normal life is out of bounds for most of us, we make of it what we can here at the school!
I'm sure the Professor will more than welcome you, especially if you're having problems controlling your powers. You don't have to suffer with lack of control, cause like, the Professor is really great at figuring out powers and helping people get a handle on them. He works every day with Rogue, you know, helping her out, meditation and stuff. Well - here's hopin' they get somewhere huh? Cool!
All right, that's all the time I have this time around, and believe me, I've been draggin' my butt here for longer than is healthy. I got people to save, clothes to shop for, malls to rat around in. Send your letters and suggestions in, I love hearin' from you all, and if you have any tips for dying hair silver - send it along so I can help out our friend Annie, who is still thanking me (Annie honey - you know forever is a long time, right? :P ) Well, until next time!
Jubilation Lee
Vigilante, fashion guru,
Retro Betty on a Mission from God.
Got a question/tips/letter for
Jubilation Lee? Well WRITE IN!Jubilee would LOVE to hear from you!
Dear Jubes! Archive
